Saturday, March 16, 2013

LEGERE DAZZLE gel manicure at Breeze

Many of you have asked about my brilliant new manicure invention "Legere Dazzle." I developed this sparklingly original style with the help of my Korean friends at "Breeze" Nail Salon on Second Avenue and I forget. I think it's 3rd Street.
Thank Goddess for Obsessive Compulsive disorder!These adorable Korean Dolls are paid by me, Bambi Bernstein, to spend over two hours painstakingly applying Gel glitter in the French style to my long, tapering claws.

If you want to copy me I have instructed Karen and the gang not to serve you unless you ask for my trademark Legere Dazzle in Korean: So...Get Ready Gurl! 
Take a deep breath, stick out your chest and say,

"Give me the Legere Bahn-Jah-Geeeee!"

BTW I hope you are as rich as Bambi Bernstein because this shit is expensive.

but it is worth every penny....  I play the piano 4-6 hours a day, pounding pounding pounding on that gel, then I work on cars.... and do some other things with my fingers we can talk about later...but let me tell you this gel stays FLAWLESS! It's the greatest thing since pitch correction.

See how happy I am? I love Asian culture. As I always say, If you want something done right, ask a Korean.
.  Here you see me analyzing the shapes of Eagle feathers for a certain Mobile Sculpture
that you will be hearing about very soon if you follow Branding Bambi Bernstein....


I regret having ignored this blog in favor of some other things that were kind of more compelling than this binary bitch rant....Like the death of my mother, my father... the disembowelment of my love life plus my car caught on fire, my ceiling fell in, the end of my career was followed by a wrenching aborted comeback that was quickly  followed by another plunge into oblivion etc etc etc.
But DONT feel sorry for me.  Gentle followers..I am now in recovery from double dementia and insanity: 



I felt a little depressed so I edged over to the Tom Ford counter for some emergency super-grooming from "Buffy Hernandez." She is one of Tom Ford's favorite makeup artists. You see she has transformed Bambi from a miserable hag into a
massively attractive and fuckable Fifth Avenue slut.  Why waste money on drugs and champagne when you can throw your money away on the only thing that really works: makeup.