Monday, December 22, 2008

संता BABY

I wrote a song for my sisters to sing. It's called Christmas in Massachusetts.
Here it is

The only one who took the time to learn the song was Alison.
And here is the sleazy but elegant standard made popular by the late great Miss Eartha Kitt, sung and played here by me, in my luxurious penthouse loft the night before Eartha's untimely death: SANTA BABY
We'll miss you darling.

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Free Greeting Card from Bambi! My loving holiday gift to you!

Bambi's gift to you - DOWNLOAD HERE
The most economical (and ecumenical) greeting card on the market!
Are you from a mixed family like Bambi? Do people make you crazy with their
nutty religious beliefs?
Use this one size fits all - From Kwanzism to that special atheist on your Christmas list
just print out this cheap ($0.00) and tasteful accordion Santa card, send it to your friends, loved ones and enemies and get back to whatever you were doing.
I'm so over all this meshuguna holiday madness.

Choose "landscape" in page layout. It fits in a regular envelop. If people don't know who Phoebe Legere is you probably don't want to know them anyway...

Your blogeuse,
Bambi Bernstein

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

illustration: Nile Southern, NYU Film School, ink and dye by Phoebe Legere

New York University is a corporation - so why don't they make their OWN movie studio? We all know who the most brilliant and talented students are - why release geniuses into the dog eat dog marketplace?

The marketplace just eats up the most sensitive and talented and spits out the seeds! -


There should be an INHOUSE MOVIE DEPARTMENT at NYU cranking out professional product-with students working as interns on REAL PROJECTS.

Let's look at the Medieval Workshop/Guild system, lets look at the Hollywood system, lets look at the system of Guru and Disciple in the training of Indian Musicians- let's build a model and rebuild American culture from the ground up using fresh blood from fresh young geniuses.
Do I hear an AMEN?

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

The Twitter Goldmine

photo:Starving children in Madagascar by Phoebe Legere

Create a Twitter world that supports your aspirations and your goals!

Twitter is a permeable membrane, a living organism of interactivity and community, like a beehive or a colony of ants. Twitter is a Meta-Brain that organizes itself into vast nexus of neurons. Twitter is sociology, psychology and anthropology all rolled into one mad text jam session.

Twitter looks random at first but then characters, stories, heros, and subplots begin to emerge. Twitter is a multivalent biomachine; it is a deeply layered textual snapshot of who we are NOW.

News breaks on Twitter faster than any other medium. When the Shuttle landed in California I knew it before AP announced it, because my Twitter Circle felt the tremors. I hear about the weather all over the world- not What the weather is, but how it Feels to the people who are living it.

The PR potential of Twitter
Get in on the Goldrush before they sell it! If you have a blog, or a book, or a band or a brand, don't hide your light under a bushel-Tweet it to the skies! If you follow good blogs, reprint them on your own blog and then bray about what a genius your buddy is! Broadcast your love! When you make other people feel important you make them VERY happy.

You can make money on twitter if that's your angle, but on the purely social level Twitter is full of delightful surpises

The key to having fun on twitter is to make sure what I call your "Twitter Circle" is smart, funny and emotionally supportive. You don't have to agree on everything, but make sure you surround yourself with enlightened people!

Make Friends Fast
If you already know someone on Twitter, go to their "following" list.
Click on a name- Read the most recent 20 twitters. You will know instinctively if this is a "story" you want to follow. If you get a good vibe, click the "follow" button up under the avatar and name. Chances are, if it's a friendly person they will return the follow quickly.

Be Consistent
Before they follow you they will probably click on your name and scan your twitters.
Make sure your recent posts reflect the 'story' you want to tell. Stay on message. If you have several different personas blog appropriately from different accounts.

News Services
You may want to follow lesaffairescom,bboybb BreakingNewz googlenews nytimes

if you are news junkie just comb my follows for business and tech news...I have a good mix.

Never drink and blog.
People from the highest echelons of government and media are on Twitter. Respect the machine.

Your Twitter Image
On Twitter as in life, image is everything. I think a warm, smiling photo, preferably with your mouth open, gives the illusion that your twitter has been "spoken" from the heart. Any of the kids in the photo above, taken in Madagascar, would be awesome Twitter avatars.

One guy-@lilpecan uses a picture of a Guinea Pig. Women love him. Duh!
On Twitter:Keep it warm, keep it fuzzy,keep it positive and you will keep your follows.
My favorite person on twitter is Meryl333 who lives on the West Coast. We have never met. Sometimes I call her "The Judge." She keeps everybody moving, and if you step out of line she is not afraid to call you on it. Meryl333 has an awesome blog too. Meryl333 always walks the high moral ground but she has a lighter, folksy side too. That's the kind of person I like. You will find your own Tweeps. Your pronouncements can be Delphic or Downtoearth, just make sure you mean what you say.

Twitter is a massively organized online chat group where fascinating information is exchanged between consenting individuals simultaneously and transparently on a wide variety of subjects. Dale Carnegie said that to be successful you must have a Mastermind network. Voila! Twitter!

I am @Legere. To reply to this or any of my other posts just put @Legere in your post and it will show up in my reply window. I love to communicate! Talk to me.

If you want an app that will manage all your replys and direct messages go to will update all of your social networks status reports instantly. Or-Blog from your phone as Barack Obama did so famously when he selected Joe Biden- just go into your twitter settings and choose 'blog from cellphone."

I look forward to seeing you at

Bambi Bernstein, bloggeuse

Tuesday, December 2, 2008


Sample Sale on Fifth Avenue between 28th and 29th on Fifth, ground floor, West side of street

Lingerie enthusiast Turgid Loathingmore the Third was browsing through the Financial Times last year when he saw an offering for Hanky Panky, Ltd. Turgid invested heavily.

I said, "You schmuck. What are you investing in that for??

He moistened his rodent lips and said, "You'll see."

For once, Turg was right. Today, Tues. Dec. 2 there is a SAMPLE SALE and there's a line around the block. It's worth the wait. Read on...

THE HANKY PANKY 'signature' V-kini is the MOST COMFORTABLE THONG on the market. If you have a sensitive Tushie like Bambi you know a thong can be hell. But Hanky Panky found a way to make it not only bearable - but pleasurable!

Abisextrous, mult-talented, versatile and well rounded Bambi has so many LOVAHS she has to wear bullet proof boxers most of the time, but on those rare occasions when she takes a shine to a particular "LOVAH" Bambi struts her stuff in the "COLORPLAY V-Kini" (half price today at the sample sale)

Once, after a one night stand, Bambi left her Hanky Panky's in the boudoir of a very rich person of the not-so opposite sex. This person who will remain nameless (Turgid Loathingmore) was such a lousy lay that Bambi vowed never to see him/her(?) again. But she wanted those Hankys back - so she swallowed her pride and returned to the scene of the crime.

PS She still can't get rid of Turgid Loathingmore the Third. There is something magic about the
soft, stretch lace and comfortable cotton center of the lowrise thong Hanky Panky panty!