Tuesday, January 13, 2009

ADVICE #1- How To Keep a Man: Bathroom Reno

When I first saw BATHROOM RENO with "J" they were standing on the corner of Second Avenue and 8th St.

I thought "How did J EVER attract someone as beautiful as THAT!"

BATHROOM RENO has a perfect body, perfect tattoos, and the most wonderful bone structure. On top of everything, "BR" IS YOUNG! Can you imagine?

But now...BR is PROSTRATING HIMSELF on the alter of J's indifference.

Get a hold of yourself BR and READ ON!

Bathroom Reno writes:

Dear Phoebe
I'm not up to much except cleaning house (here in New Jersey) and considering a bathroom renovation....

Well, J's show and his need for creative space did put a dent in our relationship. It breaks my heart because I LOVE him so much. We had so much fun and did become very close but at the moment there is nothing going on to keep us together as we were when we met last February. I first met him in 1983 and when we crossed paths nearly 25 years later I had no idea I would fall madly in love with him. I even asked him to marry me and I gave him a giant faux diamond ring. Maybe you could tell me how to get him to fall in love with me again?? :)

Dear Bathroom Reno,

The only way to keep a man is to treat him like shit, give him no gifts, demand EXPENSIVE gifts for YOURSELF and MOST important of all...

You must start fucking someone that J really admires! Make it public. High profile it all over town!!!

Don't do a drag queen. I'm thinking someone REALLY butch and creative.
Let me know how it turns out
And remember darling - The world is FULL of wonderful cocks. Don't get hung up on just one!

Love you
Bambi ("The Brand") Bernstein

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